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Thursday, September 12, 2013

what something new can do

So if you haven't noticed, we haven't been looking at our calories very closely. When people hear we are doing a 24 day nutrition plan, most wonder and ask how many calories we can eat. And when I tell them I am not counting calories I get the most puzzled faces looking back at me. Because counting calories is often times the main tool to healthy eating, but why so often does it fail us? So instead of looking at calories, we're focusing on whats good...and whats not good... for our bodies, our souls. And counting calories doesn't work for me, because I can eat a certain amount of calories, no problem. But it is the type of calories that matter. And so I don't count calories anymore. I count gifts. And I try to eat what is good. Let good fill me up, instead of the daily mundane things that can weigh a person down.

Yesterday I encouraged others to try something new. Trying something new can be scary, a little skeptical, and very unknown. I know. I avoid new things all the time. Remember, I don't like change. At least I don't think I do... yet it is the one thing I am learning that my heart really needs. A little over a year ago, I tried something new. I battled through post-postpartum anxiety and depression after my third baby boy arrived. And some where in the bottom of my hole of a life and between the piles of laundry and the foggy thoughts and the shortness of breath and the constant wetness that fell down my face and the bills piling up, I decided to try something new. I wanted to feel good. So I started eating really, really healthy. I ate what the good Lord grew for our bodies, the clean and natural fruits from growing-gifted friends and family. But I was still so...hungry...for more.

A neighbor friend gave me the book one thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp. She dared me, to like her, start my own list of gifts. 1000 of them to be exact. I laughed at her inside. I put her book back down. Not sure what counting gifts could really do for my tired and hungry soul. And night after night I stared at the cover of her book looking at me as I tried to fall asleep. I stared at it so many times, I finally opened it again. And kept reading...and started counting. I tried something new. And something new started to happen.

I was lost in a fog of hunger in so many ways, thirsty for more of something but I didn't know what. But the eating well was giving me some much needed energy to step up out of my dark hole and the counting was giving me the water I was so thirsty for. And I started to feel full. Awake. Still alive.

My cravings became stronger with the counting...craving more of His grace and I started to see more deeply, more joyfully. I knew this clean eating for both my body and soul went hand in hand for the fullest life. So I keep counting. I am well into the 1000's. I see much more then I did before, I long to feel much more each day... Because I want to live full. I want to be here and awake for all these things happening. Once again the something new, the change...is saving me. His grace, His wild love for me is always here...saving me. Breathing LIFE into me. And He has given me this body as a tool. And I want to use it well. Keep eating healthy, keep feeding myself the good stuff. It is a journey to joy that can not be separated...but done together. So if you haven't yet...number it. Not your calories today. But a gift. Open your eyes...look around...and eat well. Drink much. Give yourself something new. And know that change can be crazy good...

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